I’ll try again after I quit laughing.

Now, the winos who were the stop and rob habitues, they wanted their fortified wine. It was cheep, which fit their particular idiom. I tried to convince them that they could get good wine for less, but they never listened. They were convinced that the stronger alcohol in the Mad Dog or Night Train made it a better value, getting wrecked-wise. One night, I argued with one bum for over an hour about unit alcohol per dollar. The Hungarian was maybe 2/3 the proof of the Thunderbird (vintage last week). But the 375 Cisco Hangover Inducer is exactly half the size. Not even taking into account the fact that bumwine tastes like piss, you’d get more alcohol from the good stuff.

However, Despite my math skills, I couldn’t convince him to try the Tokay. I also couldn’t convince his little hustler buddy that they had reformulated white out to replace the high with brain damage. So he went back to giving $5 blow jobs in the parking lot to the gay bar rush with a preinstalled white ring around his nose.

I spent a great deal of time (ha, although not a great deal of $$) in that region in my sordid youth and, through my exploits, became an honorary member of clan Thunderbird.