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The Onion goes Formalist

Over the last week or so, the Onion has been dredging up some articles from its sordid past.  Several of them have a distinctly Moldbuggian tone:

  • The first one starts out actually on a more Libertarian track, but it’s just a precursor.  New Poll Finds 86 Percent Of Americans Don’t Want To Have A Country Anymore:

    “I already belong to a health club, a church, and the Kiwanis Club,” Tammy Golden of Los Angeles wrote. “I’m a member of the Von’s Grocery Super Savers, which gets me a discount on certain groceries. These are all well-managed organizations with real benefits. None of them send me a confusing bill once a year and make me work it out myself, then throw me in jail if I get it wrong.”

    “I think we’ve come far enough as a nation that we don’t need to have one anymore,” Wheldon wrote. “It’s not like we’re Somalia, where the warlords run everything, or Russia, where it’s all organized crime. We’ve had over 200 years of being Americans. I don’t think we still need the United States of America to show us how to do it.”

  • American People Ruled Unfit to Govern – wherein the Supreme Court decides that “the American people will no longer retain the power to choose their own federal, state and local officials or vote on matters of concern to the public.”  A prime Moldbug concept, that the Supreme Court holds sovereignty.
  • And finally, Exiled American King Triumphantly Returns To Washington – Rather explicitly anti-democratic:

    “Huzzah!” said Diane Sowell of State College, PA. “At long last, we are rid of that corrupt, antiquated system of government known as democracy, a system that has done nothing but maintain the status quo of political inequality, economic stagnation, and social injustice. Our good king will change all that.”

    Chris Matthews, host of MSNBC’s Hardball, applauded the king’s return but questioned some of his policies. “As much as I support welfare reform,” Matthews said, “replacing it with a nationwide network of debtor’s prisons, as His Majesty plans, strikes me as a little extreme. Still, it can’t be much worse than what we’ve had.”

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