Loyal reader John Veit emails us with news of US Patent 6023874.  Why is this important?  Well, for John, it’s important because he’s the patent holder.  For us, it’s important because when the zombies come, we will want an instinctive, automatic aiming system so that we can rapidly engage and de-brain our undead assailants.  And that’s what John has come up with:

This looks like an exceedingly simple mod for a handgun. And though I haven’t tried it, it looks like the sort of thing that would work. I imagine the grip would feel weird at first, but I’m sure I could cope with that if the benefits were there.

The video mentions that this method isn’t recommended for the M1911 handgun. My personal sidearm is a Kimber custom classic, modeled closely on the 1911. Perhaps John can chime in in the comments on whether this prohibition is just for actual 1911 models, or pretty much any .45 on that model. I’d certainly like to try this system out.

Related: Isegoria a while back on the half triangle Opti-Sight technology. More information on Aimed Point Shooting here.

… he can perhaps assuage his hunger with this nifty Zombie putter-downer recommended by Rocket Jones:

Rocket Jones’ description is apt:

“If you’ll notice, besides the space saving bullpup design, there are two magazine tubes sitting side by side under the 18.5″ long barrel. There’s a selector lever that you use to set to feed from either magazine. Can you say “seven rounds of double ought *and* seven more of slugs?” I knew you could. That’s fifteen rounds (one in the chamber) of sweet zombie brain perforating power right there.”

But really, it was almost spoiled when he pussies out on the bore:

“My only reservation is that this puppy is 12 guage. I like 12 guage, but if I’m going to be shooting enough to warrant this kind of weapon, I’d rather see it in something a tad more benign to the shoulder like 20 gauge or even .410. That would probably also add a couple more rounds to the magazine capacity too.”

Shame on you, Jones.

The World’s Most Perfect Zombie Killing Weapon?  Until we get plasma rifles, this is certainly a contender.

Glommed from GraphJam

Speaking of low-brow humor and memes, this, via an email from my ever-precocious daughter: One definition of “meme”, from the always interesting WolframAlpha

As is widely known, I am a bit of a jackhole.  And on a bad day, much much worse.  Hell even on a good day, I barely clear vaguely irritating.  So it should be no surprise to anyone that I have a blog that I don’t, you know, blog on.

But it may come as a surprise to you, dear reader, that there are actual, real reasons for my bloggy hiatus.  Here’s one of them:

That darling creature and her two older siblings are cute, adorable, brilliant and exceptional in all ways.  Including being exceptional black holes for time.  A joyful, wonderful black hole, but the event horizon is there nevertheless.  Then there’s the staggeringly less enjoyable time sink in my life, the five hour round trip commute.  This, mercifully, is abating – the reason that I’ve had the time to even contemplate a site redesign, and start writing again, is that I am now back to my ideal state of working at home the majority of the week.

My goal, my New Years and Groundhog Day’s resolution, is to write, on average, at least one post a day.  And as an added bonus to you, I will even attempt to make them interesting and entertaining.  And just for Bram, I will post regularly on Zombies, since I was cruel enough not to design a zombie theme for perfidy.

‘Cause of the scary wordpress-eating-internets-worm, we are upgrading perfidy. Perfidy may behave oddly for a while. But since this will affect, by our calculations, as many as .001 persons, on average, don’t worry too much.

When you’re not sure you can hit a target in single-fire mode:

By way of Boing Boing, there is this:

Seeing as there were bear sighted on my street over the Christmas holiday, I might need to get me one of them.

[Wik] Apparently, Zombies suck at keeping their websites up. I’ve adjusted the image so that it again displays, but no guarantees into the future

A taste:

luvs2cuddle

Tagline: “I enjoy long, slow, lumbering walks on the beach”

Interests: Lumbering, staring vacantly, cuddling

Dislikes: Sniper fire, barricaded windows, fast-moving automobiles

Note well the disclaimer, however:

Disclaimer: ZombieHarmony is for zombies only. We advise signing up for ZombieHarmony only if you lack a pulse, have limited motor skills, or feel an intense desire to feast on human beings. We are not responsible for lost or ingested loved ones. If you go on a date with a zombie, we cannot be held liable for contributing to the apocalypse.

Please date responsibly: bring a baseball bat or crowbar.

Given the obvious obsession with affection for all things zombie-related around here, I felt it my civic duty to let you know about one of the t-shirts currently available at woot.

Go now and purchase. Do your part to educate the masses about the oncoming bloody onslaught.

[Wik] @Buckethead: What if Buckethead Jr. was wearing a t-shirt ABOUT Zombies? Does that mean he’d be allowed to say bad words?

Good nutrition is just as important for the unliving as the living.